As a Coach, I focus on leveraging each client’s strengths. And I never cease to be amazed at how many people struggle to answer the question, “What are your strengths?” or “What are you good at?” So many of us walk around with an attitude that we know best, or no one can do “it” (fill in the blank) quite like we can. And yet, when I ask, “What are you good at?” – people struggle to give me a solid, confident answer! Why are we so quick to judge everyone around us – as if we are somehow “better”…….and yet, cannot give a solid answer that shows that we own our personal strengths?! It’s absolutely astonishing.
The truth is that, whether you believe it or not, you are equipped with a unique set of strengths. No one else has quite the same set of strengths that you do. And there is a reason why you were given this unique set of strengths – and why they are different from anyone else. To not “own” your strengths and use them in the world around you is a disservice to humanity. The world is missing out on what you have to offer, and chances are, you are feeling anxiety, depression, loneliness, stress, and a variety of other unhealthy emotions as a result.
I just turned 40 this year, and even I am *just* now getting this concept. As a child, I was always very headstrong and independent. I also did very well academically. And so I was often put into leadership-type roles, and expected to push for top-of-the-class status. On the surface, this seems like a natural expectation – right? The problem was that that kind of pressure created tremendous anxiety in me, and I started having panic attacks in third grade (at 8 years old). Now back then, anxiety wasn’t as prevalent as it is now, so it was brushed off as “seeking attention” or a passing phase.
Except it didn’t pass. 
Panic attacks and anxiety have followed me well into my adult years. I have noticed trends of when it seems to increase versus when I feel calm and relaxed, and yet, I couldn’t quite figure out the magic formula for making them disappear. And then I learned about the Color Code.
As I learned more about my Blue personality – that I am driven by making meaningful connections with people, and that I am designed to bring the gifts of Service and Quality into this world – things began to make a little more sense. In fact, I had been chasing more of my secondary Red traits for most of my life – but what drives a Red (results) does not drive me, and hence, I was always out of balance. The more I began to honor my Blue strengths and gifts and place less importance on trying to be “Red”, I began to feel a tremendous sense of peace.
All of that being said, I am still a work-in-progress, as I still tend to say “yes” to things that I shouldn’t – things that either don’t use my gifts OR that force me into a role that I was not designed to do (typically a managerial-type role; I am best in a support role). But I am learning to recognize the signs that I have made a poor choice much sooner – and therefore can make the choice to exit sooner (and maintain my sanity) than to exit later (and find myself in the middle of anxiety again).
In the audio segment today, I was really slapped in the face with this point: “When you don’t understand the purpose for something, you misuse….and you let others abuse it.” WOW. No kidding! I have been misusing my gifts all of these years, and as a result, I allowed many people to walk all over me and misuse my generosity and service….only to find myself hurt and disgruntled because I wasn’t getting anything in return.
And so on this Day 2 of Purpose, the Question to Consider was very appropriate: “What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?” While I feel I have come a long way in accepting and honoring who I am and the role I am designed to fulfill, I still struggle and fight the urge to take on too much – ever the overachiever and people-pleaser. It’s so hard to break bad habits!
So what are you still struggling to accept about yourself? What is keeping you from being happy with what you are given and the role you were designed for?
And can you give a solid, confident answer to the questions: “What are your strengths?” and “What are you good at?”
